I have to admit that I requested this book based on the title.  Angels, Vampires and Douche Bags is a title with a lot of potential.  Unfortunately, it did not live up to my expectations.

The book separates the people in our lives into three categories.  Angels are the people who love you and take care of you.  Vampires are the people who are sexy and seductive but ultimately bad for you, and Douche Bags are the people who make your life more difficult.  Things can also be in these categories.  The whole prospect is kind of muddled and unfocused.  It just didn’t quite work.

Unfortunately, a lot of Carla’s humor didn’t work for me, either.  For example, there’s this:

“I’ve always wanted to adopt, and I have given serious thought to adopting an older child.  But so far, the only thing I’ve adopted is a British accent after a few glasses of Veuve Clicquot.”

Huh?  Maybe if she said a French accent, since Veuve Clicquot is a French champagne, but British?  Maybe I just don’t get it, but I didn’t laugh.

I also didn’t care for some of her assumptions about women.  In her chapter on how dogs can be Angels, she says:

“Of course, dog is man’s best friend, but I would argue that a dog is more accurately a white woman’s soul mate.  Trust me, white women have an unholy dependence on canines.  I think it’s because we have no inner compass: no barometer or gut feelings.  Every other ethnic group seems to have this gift.”

What the?  I don’t own a dog and my intuition works just fine, thank you.  She missed the mark even more with this, from her chapter on the importance of girlfriends:

“I know every man’s fantasy is to watch two women together.  Sadly, this fantasy doesn’t work in reverse.  No woman ever wants to see two men together.”

One, it’s not every man’s fantasy – plenty of my gay friends would dispute that rather vehemently.  A couple of my straight male friends with more…varied tastes would dismiss that as too vanilla to be of interest.  And if she thinks a fair number of women aren’t turned on by the thought of two men together, she obviously hasn’t read a fanfiction site, seen women standing in line for Brokeback Mountain or talked to any of my friends.  Not every woman’s thing, certainly, but sweeping statements like that are downright insulting when they don’t describe your views, and she managed to insult me more than once in a short span of pages.

I wanted to give Carla the benefit of the doubt.  I checked out some videos on YouTube and other sites.  I checked with some of my Canadian friends, and got responses similar to my own.  One described Carla as the “Canadian Sarah Silverman” – relying heavily on the “I’m a cute girl saying really smutty things” vibe.  I get that from some of the videos.

For me, this one was not a winner.  There were a couple of things in the book that made me laugh, like her Kabbalah Drag Queen Name (YumYum Kippur), and I chuckled a bit watching her videos.  Comedy is a subjective thing, and this didn’t work for me.  Want to give it a try for yourself?  Post a comment with your own Jewish Drag Queen Name and your email – I’ll pick one to send along my copy of Angels, Vampires and Douche Bags.

My copy of Angels, Vampires and Douche Bags was a review copy, provided free of charge.

First off, let me thank everyone who participated in this little contest. I know I am looking forward to seeing the movie (and eventually reading the books) and I hope a lot of our YA readers out there feel the same way. I appreciate everyone stopping by and I wish I had presents for all of you.

Sadly, there can only be 2 winners. I use Random.org to first randomize the list and then to choose the winning numbers. The two lucky winners are:

(The plot actually reminds me of Cirque Berzerk, which I saw in Los Angeles a couple of months ago.)

Anyway – two winners will receive a Cirque du Freak book Set (A LIVING NIGHTMARE * THE VAMPIRE’S ASSISTANT * TUNNELS OF BLOOD) and a Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant Locker Mirror

Tht locker mirror is the perfect back-to-school accessory, right? And all you have to do is leave a comment on this post to win.

Now, there’s a little something in this for me, too. If you use the widget on the sidebar to vote for your favorite movie t-shirt, I could win an iPod touch! So leave a comment to win something for yourself and vote below and maybe your friendly neighborhood blog host will win a little something, too!

Okay, here are the details: the contest will run for 2 weeks, so get your votes in by midnight on Monday, October 26th. Shipping Guidelines: giveaway is open to legal US residents who are at least 13 years of age as of October 1st. Prizing is only available to United States mailing address only. (International readers can enter if they have a friend in the States who can accept their prizes by mail.) Leave a comment here for your first entry – blog about the giveaway and link to my post and I will give you 2 more entries! You’ve got to leave me an email address in your comment, so I can contact you. And encourage your kids to enter on their own!

Okay, I’m having some trouble with the widget – there’s a very small version in my sidebar, or you can go to this link to vote for your favorite t-shirt.

Just a reminder: you have until midnight tonight (EST) to sign up for my special promotion – win a set of James Patterson YA books. This is a great promotion and the books would make great gifts for any young reader in your life. Don’t miss out!

Thanks very much to everyone who entered my giveaway of Axe of Iron: The Settlers. I am looking forward to passing this book along. Our winner is:

Thanks again for stopping by my blog. I hope you come back often for more reviews and bookchat.

I had hoped today to have either a review of J.A. Hunsinger’s Axe of Iron or a guest post from the author. Sadly, I have neither. So I have hauled out my back-up plan and I will be giving away a copy of Axe of Iron to one lucky commenter. You can read more about the book at the publisher’s website. It is historical fiction, the story of Norse settlers in the Hudson Bay area, lots of detail about their lives and the hardships they faced.

As I said, I had originally planned on a review. This brings us to some of those bitter truths: the book just didn’t grab me. I enjoy historical fiction, but I like a lot of story with my history. I had a similar problem last year with The Whiskey Rebels – a lot of people raved about it, but I was unmoved. Axe of Iron has gotten some great reviews and I am sure that one of you is going to love it. So, leave me a comment, be sure to leave me an email adress or a way to contact you, and I will choose a winner when I’m back home.

Speaking of home, those of you who stop by here frequently know that my travel schedule has been brutal this year. I am working this week in our Jupiter, FL facility; next week I will be in Charlotte, NC. I spent the first 2 weeks of January, all of February, and several weeks in March and April on the road. The fact is that if a book doesn’t really grab me, there is no way I am lugging it through airports. And let’s face it – work comes first. No one is paying me to write reviews, but I love it and I fit it in where I can. Mr. Hunsinger declined my request for a guest post on short notice, which left me with limited options.

I want to thank Dorothy at Pump Up Your Book Promotion for being so understanding about the whole issue. She is always a pleasure to work with.

And now – it’s your turn! Leave a comment and you could be a winner!

ETA: It occurs to me that I forgot a few important things earlier today. This contest is open to readers in the US only. You must leave me an email address (or link to your blog) to be considered. The contest will end Friday, May 8th; the winner will be announced here and notified by email. Good luck!

I’m thrilled to be passing Crafting Jewish and Kosher by Design Lightens Up onto someone who will really enjoy them. The winner is…

I wanted to pass along a big THANK YOU! to everyone who entered and was so excited about the books. As always, I wish I had enough books for everyone.

I’m going to spend the next month on the road for work, which means that when I get back, I should have a nice stack of books ready to give away. Stop back soon for more reviews and contests!

I want to thank everyone who stopped by and joined in the conversation. Unlike some guest posts I’ve had in the past, Emily really made this into a conversation, answering questions and chatting with the posters. When I think about how much effort goes into being that gracious over the course of a 50-day blog tour, I’m floored. Thanks again for being a great guest host.

Emily Bryan’s blog tour continues with another chance to win over at J.K. Choi – Living With Immortals. She’ll be exploring 4 methods for writing a novel, which should make for some great conversation.

I hope that all of your who stopped by for the first time will come back and visit again. I am pretty eclectic in my reading choices, so there is something for everyone. I hope to see you again soon.

And if you’re disappointed about not winning VEXING THE VISCOUNT (and who wouldn’t be), if you scroll down just a little ways, I am giving away a combo: a great cookbook and a terrific craft book.

I’m not sure what I did to get on Mesorah Publications’ mailing list, but boy, am I glad I did it! Back in December, I reviewed Kosher By Design Lightens Up! and shortly after that I received a new book from them, Crafting Jewish. It’s a lovely book and I have had a great time looking through it.

I’m not Jewish and I have to admit that many of the holidays and celebrations in this book are completely unfamiliar to me. I had never heard of a succot, but now I have a great menu if I need to bring something to a potluck Succah Hop. I was similarly unfamiliar with Tu B’Shevat, but if you are planning a party to celebrate this spring holiday, the book includes recipes for linzer flower cookes and directions for making a beautiful decoupaged fruit tray to serve them on.

There are lots of projects for kids in this book – a lulav and etrog wall hanging, an “I (heart) Pesach” painted trivet, a beautiful mezuzah covered in stained glass shards, and popsicle stick flowers for Shavuot. The introduction includes special instructions for kids, as well as a list of all the craft supplies and tools you may need. There are costumes for Purim, recipes for Chanukah and lovely handmade items for gift-giving and everyday use. Making your own gifts is a great way to both save money and give an extra measure of love to the people closest to you.

My favorite project in the book was a Glowing Glass Menorah – it’s very different from other menorahs I have seen, and I think it would look beautiful on a holiday table or sideboard:

And now the Giveaway:

I want to be able to pass these books on to others who will be able to really use them, so I am having a very special giveaway. I will be giving away my hardcover copies of Kosher by Design Lightens Up and Crafting Jewish. Unfortunately, due to shipping costs, I can only open this contest to readers in the United States. To enter, leave a comment (make sure I have your email address) after this review. You don’t have to be Jewish to enter, you just have to enjoy crafting and cooking! Entries are open until Friday, January 30th at midnight EST, and I will announce the winner Saturday morning. Good luck!

Happy Monday! I know – Mondays are seldom happy (and I’m just going back to work from vacation, so this really feels like Monday), but I do have some happy news for someone. This morning, I promised to announce the winner in my Matrimony giveaway and that winner is: